Thursday, 28 August 2008


2293 hands / Profit -$177

More about the poker later.

On to the title of this post. I can't really put into words how I'm feeling at the moment that would do it justice. I'm at a very low point as I received some crushing news today (and no, no-ones dead btw). Now it may seem like I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill, but believe me it hurts, it hurts a lot.

My 19 year old son was due to go back to University next month to start his second year. Now for a while I've been asking him how he did in his exams, and when will he be getting his results. Each time he basically shrugged his shoulders and said 'don't know'. Now that's not unusual behaviour for my son so, I just let it go. Anyways after prolonged pestering, things came to ahead today, when I told him he has to sort out the finance for this years studies, so he needs to find out his exam results etc etc. He eventually came downstairs and told me he had failed his exams and he didn't want to go back....

Now to some degree I wasn't entirely surprised, mainly because of his previous behaviour when questioned about this, but if I'm honest, I knew he wasn't putting in the work he should of been. Usually I would have given him a verbal volleying like no other, but by my standards I was very reserved, but he certainly knew how I felt. What was also very disappointing was the fact he knew this news some weeks ago, possibly months.

So why am I so disappointed? Well guess what, I did the same thing when I was his age. I fell out of my 1st year, basically because I was lazy, couldn't be arsed doing the work and not a very good public speaker. But my son is so much more able than I was, he hardly revised for his A-levels and still did very well. All he needed to do was just work a little..... arrgghh whatever. Believe me when I tell you, I'm so deflated by this news you can't even imagine. You want so much more for your kids, I want them to be better than me. I want them to have things that I couldn't have....

He had a great chance, he was at a really good Uni, doing a diverse course. And now he's out with a 1st year debt of £8000, GREAT!!!! I've been in debt all my working career, and I don't just mean mortgages, I mean almost bankrupt stakes, and now he kicks off with this FFS!

Actually after typing all this, I don't really feel in the mood to tell you about the shite day in poker so hopefully I'll be in a better frame of mind tmoz. Sorry for venting, GL all.


WVHillbilly said...

Jay, obviously this sucks but you said you basically did the same thing at his age and you seem to have turned out alright. It's obvious that you wanted him not to have to suffer through everything that you did, but I'm sure, in the end, he'll be just like his dad. And I'd say that is a very good thing.

In the meantime though kick his ass out into the workforce and he'll soon realize just how great he had it while he was in school.

I did basically the same my 1st year in college. I drank and partied too much and received shit grades. At the time my parents were paying for everything but when my mom saw the 1st semester's grade she refused to pay another dime (she actually stopped payment on a check for the 2nd semester). I took a semester off and went out a got a shit job. After 6 months I had saved up enough $$ to pay for my next group of classes. I ended up working my way the rest of the way through and I believe I am better off for doing it.

Anyway didn't mean to drop a book in here but just wanted to offer a few words. I'm sure things will turn out great for your son, his road may just be a bit longer than what you had hoped.

Jay said...

Your comments are very welcome WV as always. I've cooled off a little now. Still very disappointed, but w/e you know sometimes things just aren't meant to be I suppose.

Anonymous said...

Theres more than one way to earn a living.

Sometimes kids need to learn lessons themselves.

The feelings are natural for a father